I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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