she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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