And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
