that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
