There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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