I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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