Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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