What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
