dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
