You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
