im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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