theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
