party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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