You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
