i don't like sucking hair
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
