Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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