Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
