morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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