Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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