they need to just BURY HIM!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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