My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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