Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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