I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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