Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
