You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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