i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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