Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
