i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
