omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want nice things and good sex
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I woke up under a house in Key West
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