I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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