kristin has been a bad kristin
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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