Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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