it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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