speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
