I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
