come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
