Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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