I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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