He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
