Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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