How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
