someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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