you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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