My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
