I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
