Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
