I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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