Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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