just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
