My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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