He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
