this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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