All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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