Don't you send me to vm
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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