bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
