plz talk dirty to me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
