I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
