i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize