after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
