I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she peed on how many people?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All I want is dick and wine.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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